When I Was Your Man

                 It has been a week since Lisa died. Goddamn I miss her. I should treat her well. It's hurts. I was wrong. It's too late. But, if I had a chance. Take Lisa to every party because she love to dance. Our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same. My heart break a little when our friend talk about you. My pride, my ego and my selfish way. Full of regrets. Too young and too dumb to realize that I should bought her flower and held her.

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                 "Please Harris! Just this time. I promise! I really want to go with you." Lisa begging. I should go. But, now I never, never gonna see her again. It was a mistake. What am I thinking?! Why I'm so busy working. I should accompany her because she really love to dance. I should give all my hours. I still remember how happy she are when we go to Rissa birthday party at beach. She dance all night. Her body move with the music. Her move rhyme with the song. I just sat there and watch her dancing like a drunk person. She just loves dancing too much. I should have join her dancing. That's the last time I join her to go to party. After that, there's no more party that I go with here because I'm too busy with the new project. She keep on calling me to accompany her for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  I rarely see her because I'm too busy. When she sulk, I just asked the florist to send flower to her office. She's quit cool about it. She just call me and said thanks. Now, I know that she keep her feelings all of this while.

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               It's been along night. Just sitting here trying not to look back. I'm scared to death. What if by the time flies I will forget Lisa. No! I don't want to. Can I just live in my memories with her? Everyone keep on telling me to move on. Can't you guys understand me? I have been with Lisa for 10 years! We have been date since middle school. She is my life. Now, half of me was gone and never come back. I'm so sad. I play When I Was Your Man using this guitar that Lisa give me during our 5th anniversary. She always asked me to play her some song before she sleep. I miss those moments! There maybe not be another one like her out there. Let me just live here alone. Cherish every moment with Lisa. They said that time will heals everything but they don't know you and scars you give. Lisa meant everything to me. If heartache is a physical pain I could face but it's hurting me from inside of my head I can't take it. I gonna lose my mind. Why did you left me alone Lisa.
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              I remember that her eyes so bright. When I first met her, I'm so in love that night. She's wearing floral  short dress with her hair moving along with the wind. She's so beautiful. Until now, I can remember her face really well. I can't  take it. Lisa is perfect even when she cried. When I look into her eyes. It's like watching the night skies or a beautiful sunrise. I'd give up forever to see you. All I can taste is this moment and I can breath is your life. Lisa is like an oxygen to me. How can I live if there was no oxygen? How can I live without you Lisa. I need you honey. I really do. I wish I can turn back time. I don't want the world to see me. I don't think that they'd understand.When everything's made to be broken. I just want you Lisa. Stand by my side. Through this wild world. I'm still alive but barely breathing.
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       Now I' never, never get to clean up the messed I made. And I haunts me every time I closed my eyes. Although it's hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. I know that I was too late. To try and apologize for my mistake. But, I want you to know. I hope I can bought you flowers and held your hands once again. cherish every moment with you. My love Lisa. My life Lisa. My soul Lisa.

xoxo, E.

Exam's Over!

Yo! Ssup! Exam week is officially over. Failed my Add Math! That's for sure. I didn't answer almost half of the paper. Let's just say I didn't answer half of the paper! I don't care at all. I hope the other paper pass. Not aiming any A's at all! So, don't ask me how's my exam. Not gonna answer that type of question.

So, Cody will end his tour at Barca. The Wanted live in LA! Goddamn! Their house is so amazing! Classic and simple. My dream house. Errmm. Xperia Z released last Friday. Since I got 1K already, I need to save up to 1K more. And, I also decided to buy Sony SmartWatch. Can't wait to have both of it!

I have one week holiday. Too lazy to study. Can't wait for this Friday! Swimming with F and S! Weee. And, I also can't wait for this Sunday! Bowling time with cousins! Gonna have a good time. *Carly Rae Jepsen mood on* Lol. Hahaha.

So, live you life. And, enjoy it to the fullest! Live like you gonna die tomorrow!

xoxo, E.

Word of wisdom from USD!

USD is one of my favorite book. It's a Malay novel actually. Okay. Let's get started! :)

Eat right. Don't smoke. Don't drink. Exercise daily. Stay fit. Die anyway!

Lie, one is sweet to mind.
Lie, two is a killer to heart.
Lie, three is a poison to blossom rose.
Final lie is a heart break. Falling petals and thorns endure all the pain to the broken heart.

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well, that's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and fake smiles.

You can't even keep me away from sin, the simplest sin, how can you ever keep me away from the world so wild?

Hold strong. Sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Just go with the flow. Thinking beyond line won't change anything.

Every beautiful girl has that dumb guy that did her wrong and make her strong.

As long as the mood is right. The person i am with is right. The place is right. The time is right. I'm alright then.

Nice quotes right? Enjoy!


xoxo, E.