My first semester.

My first semester experience? Well, let see, I miss my high school years tbh. In high school, I get the chance to see my bestfriends everyday and there is nothing much to worry back then. And now I missed them terribly. I have been friends with them for more than 5 years and it's pretty difficult for me to social with new people. To feel comfortable with them.

First day of class, I was trying so hard to be friendly but it's so hard for me to do. I'm a private kind of person and for me to trust people is hard. To get know people is hard. To open up with new people is hard. To start over is hard. But, nonetheless my classmate was nice and all but the problem is myself. It's hard for me to believe that I stayed in the city while all of my friends were outside the state.

They said everything is happen for a reason. I'm trying to believe in that. I am trying to make myself happy. To accept the truth that nothing can change the fact that I'm here. Absolute nothing. I know it and I faced it every single day I go to classes. Looking at my classmates joking with one another. I sat there alone playing with my phone and trying so hard to go unnoticed. They trying to talk to me and making plans to go out together. They were so nice but I keep on dismissed and making excuses all the time. I know it might sounds heartless or what but I don't really considered them as a friends. I only considered  my roommates as my only friends.

Talk about my roommates. They were the only thing that I considered a blessing as I'm studying here. They were there for me through my ups and downs. They have been there when I cried suddenly because I missed my bestfriend and they totally understand me. They always have a place in my heart along with my bestfriends. I grow fond of them. Especially, Sofiya and Syuhada. I told them everything and they didn't judge me and accept me for who I am. I really missed them. For the next semester, only Sofiya and I shared the same room. I will miss Syu extremely. They were my angels. They keep me going day by day. Telling me that I can do this and don't give up on my studies and keep me off the pressure.

I was blessed to know such a beautiful soul.

Distance is what I want the most.

AMONG MY FRIENDS, THEY ALWAYS KNOW THAT MY DREAM WOULD BE TO STUDY OUTSIDE MY STATE. THE REASON WHY I HAVE BEEN DYING TO STUDY OUTSIDE IS BECAUSE I LOVE AND ENJOY EXPLORING NEW PLACES. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE SAID IT IS A BLESS FOR ME TO STUDY NEAR MY PARENT. TO BE ABLE TO SEE THEM EACH WEEK WHILE MY OTHER FRIENDS NEED TO BOOK A FLIGHT TICKET JUST TO SEE THEIR FAMILY. WHICH IS NOT OFTEN AND THEY ONLY GET TO SEE THEIR FAMILY WHENEVER THEY HAVE A LONG HOLIDAYS OR SEMESTER BREAK.

THEY ALWAYS SAID TO ME THAT I WAS LUCKY THAT MY UNIVERSITY LOCATED AT OUTSKIRT OF THE CITY AND NEAR FROM MY HOME. BUT FOR ME, I DON'T FEEL EXCITED FOR IT AT ALL. IT'S NOT THAT I WANT TO BE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THEM BUT THE THING IS I WANT TO DE INDEPENDENT ON MY OWN. BEING STUCK HERE WHILE OTHERS CAN LEARN SO MANY THINGS FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD REALLY SUCKS.

NOW, I JUST HAD MY FIRST SEMESTER AND NOW I LEFT WITH 4 SEMESTER MORE. I CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH OFF MY DIPLOMA AND SETTLE FOR MY DEGREE IN SHAH ALAM,