Unconditional love.

There is one young man, he's in love with his brother fiance. Truly, madly and deeply in love. After a few month later, his brother died in a car accident. His mom force him to take over his brother place because she knew all of this while that he is in love with his brother fiance since she accidentally read his diary when she cleaned his bedroom. At first he refuses to engage with her because he knows that he will always be a shadows of his brother and also he knows that she will never love him. But then, they agreed. It is all because of his mom.

For his mom sake he rather let his heart hurt. They engaged for a year. He wait patiently until she accept him but she still the same. Crying over her dead fiance. She treat him as cold as winter wind. His unconditional love for her make him blind that he will never be her love of her life. He doesn't even know why he acts like don't care what she did to him. Everything she did to hurt him seems useless. Because he love her, he doesn't care about his heart at all.

 After a year, they finally married. She still the same. They never slept together in a bed. He will sleep on the floor. She never cooked for him. He always tell his best friend that he can't do it any longer. His heart hurts so much. She only talk to him when she need something. Yet, she still want to divorce with him. She know that she will never love him, rather than hurting his heart non-stop she will back off. He kneel down on his knees begging for her to take back what she have said. She want to go out of the house. He just said she can stay in the house and just let he go out of his own house.

Everyday he will sleep in the car to watch over her so that he knows that his wife safe being alone in the house. One day, on his way back home he saw his wife out from a car with another man. His best friend. He stops his car and just look at them with an empty mind. After all of this time he told his best friend about his feeling. How could he do this to him. Everything makes sense to him now. No wonder his best friend encouraged him to divorce just because he said he couldn't see he gets hurt. No wonder his wife want a divorce also.

His heart falls into pieces. Feels betrayed. He swear that he will never looked back. His pain is his wife happiness. He confront his wife and they finally divorce. He just hopes that his wife will be find her happiness that she never found before. Now, he will leave his past behind and never look back at his past. With a heart fulls of bloody scars, he accept the fact that you can't force someone to love you even though you love them unconditionally. Now, he just need to moves on with his life and maybe he will find someone that cure his heart and love him unconditionally. You can't have everything you want. You just need to move on.


xoxo, E.

Have you ever felt?

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Have you ever felt so down when everybody around you is so high up there? Have you ever felt so depressed because your parent have a high expectation on you? Have you ever felt that you just want everybody understand you just for once? Have you ever felt that you just want to cry and the world seems unfair for you? Have you ever felt that you just want happiness for once and the world never let you have it? That is what I felt all of this time.

I had been up there for once, well twice exactly. Just for a second that I want to feel how is it feel like, the world never let me to feel it. I'm in my darkest part of my life for a moment. Every time I want to keep my head up I just can't do it. Life is a cycle. There is time that you have the time of your life. But, don't ever forget there is also time when you just losing faith in hopes when you down there. Pain. Every second moving you feel like you making a huge mistake. When you just want someones to believes that you can do it but actually there is no one does.

They were there when you are at the center of the world. But, they were gone when you at the hardest time for the moment. They said they know how it is feel like but actually you know that they just want you to feel better. You said you're okay but deep inside you feel like if you can move somewhere that nobody knows you and expect nothing great from you, you really want to move there and forget all the problem. But, the fact is problem follows you everywhere you go. You just need to face it with a smile and keep strong.

I always remember what goes around comes around. It may takes time but great things will happen eventually. Be strong, keep strong and stay strong.

xoxo, E.

Falling for you.

Here's in silence. I don't know what to do. I'm falling for you but I'm so afraid to tell you. I know we're friend, as in the matter of fact you are my best friend. I love our friendship but it's hurt so much to keep it all by myself. I've spending all day thinking how should I tell you that I like you. I am trying not to tell you but I want to. Scared of what you will say in response. So, I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I am so tired of holding this inside my head. I have been waiting all my life and now I have found you. As I'm standing here and you hold my hand, pull me towards you and we start to dance. All around us, I see nobody, it's just you and me. I hope you feel the same. If falling for you is a crime I rather stay in your prison of your love.

xoxo, E.