Love Letter.

Dear Adrianna,

               By this time I maybe in my flight to further my study abroad. By this time, I bet you just chilling out at Venice Cafe as usual. In this so-not-romantic letter, I just want to say thank you for making me feel love by you. Thank for letting me see beneath your beautiful. When I first time saw you, I smile like a mother would. I saw you laughing so loud with your friend when you guys played badminton. I still remember the moment you fall. At first, I just stand there, shock, but suddenly I heard you laughed so hard. You still smile happily. From that moment, I knew I already fall for you. After that, I saw you chill alone at Venice Cafe. So, I asked the waiter about you. They said you're chilling out over there almost everyday. Didn't you notice me? I stalked you everyday, you know. I need to gather all my guts to talk to you. Don't blame me for being to slow okay. You're just one of a kind, for me, a hard to catch one. You should feel special. You know that I'm a type of person that is not giving a compliment to easy right.

              Do you still remember my first words? Don't laugh okay. I know I was miserable that day! " Miss, you have any tissue?" Oh god! At that moment, that was the worst pick up line ever! Every time I remember your first expression, I smile like a kid get a candy! How happy I am at that moment!I also remember your first words toward me. "Are you flirting with me right now? That's the worst pick up line ever. You have a tissue at your own table, I can see that clearly sir." I smiled awkwardly. But, after that you being cool with me. Thanks for giving me a chance to know you more. Did you know every time I saw you, I feel so alive. Your smile bring me back to this world. I used to get hurt by someone. My own girl betrayed me and my best friend also. The minute I saw you, I knew that you were the one for me. You bring back my smile on my pretty handsome. Don't puke! Hehe. You were the reason I smile on Monday morning. Everybody hate Monday. You were the one and only girl I've ever wanted to be with. You are so beautiful yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you smile. I love the way you make me feel every single time. You are the one who takes away the blues. That is one of many reason I'm in love with you.

          Please, take a good care of yourself while I'm gone. Don't skip your lunch. Don't ever forget where you put your house key. You always forget. Don't just stay at your house too much. You need to get out and have a social life like you used to. Don't miss me too much. You know I'm so far away from you, just say my name and for sure I'll call you after that. Have fun while I'm gone. Do not flirting with other guys. I have my eye on  you girl. You still my girl. Skype with me everyday. Even though, we're from different time zone, I'll find time for you. Don't forget to visit your parent. Send my regard to them. I'm gonna miss them and your sister too. Don't forget to call and text me everyday. If you want to tell me about your life, just give me a call. Please be patience for a few years. I know it's hard for us but promise to stay with me.  No matter how far I go, I will keep loving you because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I really love you. I love you till forever and always will.

        Last but not least, thanks for letting your guard down and let me see your world. I know you've carried on so long and you've built your wall so high. Loving you was the best thing I ever did in my life. Your beauty is nothing compared to your loving heart and your kind demeanor. Like a flowers that spread fragrance, your love brings romance in my ordinary life .Thank you for let me see beneath your beautiful. Thank you for let me see beneath your perfect. I'm not perfect but you completed me. Thank you my love.

                     " Some relationship are worth fighting for, some are worth a try.

                                 Some makes you feel so blue, while others make you fly.
                               
                                  I have met so many people, but you are the best among the few.

                                  You are cute, sweet and loving which is why I LOVE YOU."


                                                                                                                       Your love of your life,
                                                                                                                                              Edika.
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That's such a sweet letter. Can someone give it to me? Lol. Keep dreaming E.

xoxo, E.
         

Can't Never Be Mine.

I'm just a girl in this world so wild. Trying to be positive in everything. Trying to change into a better person. Having a crush with someone that I know can't never be mine. It's normal for a teenage like me, right? I bet every girl in my age have the same problem as mine. But, in my case is pretty much like a typical novel, I guess. I came from a happy and low profile family. We're not rich at all but also not poor. I like someone who's good looking, came from a rich family and he's such a great guy. He live a thousand miles away from me. I knew him through social network. Stalking him every single day. Looking at his status that show how manner he is in talking. Loving his relationship with his brother. He is also the same age as me.

He never know who I am. Trying to forget him is like trying so hard to remember someone you never knew. Pretty hard, isn't it? The pains I hold. Sometimes, it feels like I'm a stupid girl. I know we will never meet. He will never know me. But, still. I like him. What should I do? Ya Allah. Help me. If he never meant to be with me let my feeling gone. It's hurting me from inside my head.

"If pain must come, let it come quickly. Because I have life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him." - Paulo Coelho

xoxo, E.

We Can't Never Please Society.

They told us be yourself, yet they still judge us. When we try to be someone else, they called us fake. The truth is we can never please the society. Please, take note. You're not live to please  them. You can't never satisfied everyone needs. Just be who you are. But, don't judge people when you can't accept a judgement from them.

For example : Skinny = Anorexic, Thick = Obese, Virgin = Too good, Non-virgin = Slut, Friendly = Fake, Quiet = Rude.

YOU CAN'T NEVER PLEASE SOCIETY.


We're blaming society, yet we are society. So, to make it a better place we must change ourselves first. Please don't let society label you.

xoxo, E.

How could you?

How could you do that to your own best friends? All of this time they always be there for you when you feels so stressed with your family condition. When your father have an affair behind your mother back, we were there for you. To make sure that you stay your head up and acts like it is nothing for you and make sure you still okay. Now, you talking behind our back at your Twitter account and the next day you still have a confidence to come to meet us? Did you know that you look like a social-climbing person? Talk about the high social ranking with us and acts like you knows everything about them. Excuse me, did you know that they even hate you. Oh god, wake up girl! Almost everyone in our batch hate you. Do you think behind those pretty innocent face you can hide your dark side? Everybody know that you are a bad-mouth person. Please, know your position. Open you eyes widely and you will see that almost everyone don't want to be friend with a girl like you.

When a some boys like you, you said eww? Hey, you even flirting with them. You said it's kind of awkward if you not reply they text. You gives them hope. You make them believes that they still have a chance. Stop doing that. You judge people and you can't accept when people judge you. If you can't accept a judgement, don't you dare to start judging people. You always worried about your face. It's okay but when you doing the same thing all over again it's annoying okay? When your ex's move on with someone else, you said you didn't care, but actually you did. What the hell wrong with you? You already told us you move on and didn't care if he already have a girlfriend or not. You hate almost all pretty girls in our batch and you will spot they dark side and tells everybody about it. You feel insecure when all of the attentions is not you anymore don't you? Social-climbing is the last thing on my list. It's looked like you're so desperate for a position in society. Get a life! Judging a person does not defines who they are but it defines who you are. Oh, by the way, didn't you notice that I don't talk with you too much like before. And lately I just hopes there just four of us and it is without you. I'm not a hypocrites. If I started to hate someone I will never talk to them ever again. Please, don't make me hate you. Take note please.

XOXO, E.

Unconditional love.

There is one young man, he's in love with his brother fiance. Truly, madly and deeply in love. After a few month later, his brother died in a car accident. His mom force him to take over his brother place because she knew all of this while that he is in love with his brother fiance since she accidentally read his diary when she cleaned his bedroom. At first he refuses to engage with her because he knows that he will always be a shadows of his brother and also he knows that she will never love him. But then, they agreed. It is all because of his mom.

For his mom sake he rather let his heart hurt. They engaged for a year. He wait patiently until she accept him but she still the same. Crying over her dead fiance. She treat him as cold as winter wind. His unconditional love for her make him blind that he will never be her love of her life. He doesn't even know why he acts like don't care what she did to him. Everything she did to hurt him seems useless. Because he love her, he doesn't care about his heart at all.

 After a year, they finally married. She still the same. They never slept together in a bed. He will sleep on the floor. She never cooked for him. He always tell his best friend that he can't do it any longer. His heart hurts so much. She only talk to him when she need something. Yet, she still want to divorce with him. She know that she will never love him, rather than hurting his heart non-stop she will back off. He kneel down on his knees begging for her to take back what she have said. She want to go out of the house. He just said she can stay in the house and just let he go out of his own house.

Everyday he will sleep in the car to watch over her so that he knows that his wife safe being alone in the house. One day, on his way back home he saw his wife out from a car with another man. His best friend. He stops his car and just look at them with an empty mind. After all of this time he told his best friend about his feeling. How could he do this to him. Everything makes sense to him now. No wonder his best friend encouraged him to divorce just because he said he couldn't see he gets hurt. No wonder his wife want a divorce also.

His heart falls into pieces. Feels betrayed. He swear that he will never looked back. His pain is his wife happiness. He confront his wife and they finally divorce. He just hopes that his wife will be find her happiness that she never found before. Now, he will leave his past behind and never look back at his past. With a heart fulls of bloody scars, he accept the fact that you can't force someone to love you even though you love them unconditionally. Now, he just need to moves on with his life and maybe he will find someone that cure his heart and love him unconditionally. You can't have everything you want. You just need to move on.


xoxo, E.

Have you ever felt?

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Have you ever felt so down when everybody around you is so high up there? Have you ever felt so depressed because your parent have a high expectation on you? Have you ever felt that you just want everybody understand you just for once? Have you ever felt that you just want to cry and the world seems unfair for you? Have you ever felt that you just want happiness for once and the world never let you have it? That is what I felt all of this time.

I had been up there for once, well twice exactly. Just for a second that I want to feel how is it feel like, the world never let me to feel it. I'm in my darkest part of my life for a moment. Every time I want to keep my head up I just can't do it. Life is a cycle. There is time that you have the time of your life. But, don't ever forget there is also time when you just losing faith in hopes when you down there. Pain. Every second moving you feel like you making a huge mistake. When you just want someones to believes that you can do it but actually there is no one does.

They were there when you are at the center of the world. But, they were gone when you at the hardest time for the moment. They said they know how it is feel like but actually you know that they just want you to feel better. You said you're okay but deep inside you feel like if you can move somewhere that nobody knows you and expect nothing great from you, you really want to move there and forget all the problem. But, the fact is problem follows you everywhere you go. You just need to face it with a smile and keep strong.

I always remember what goes around comes around. It may takes time but great things will happen eventually. Be strong, keep strong and stay strong.

xoxo, E.

Falling for you.

Here's in silence. I don't know what to do. I'm falling for you but I'm so afraid to tell you. I know we're friend, as in the matter of fact you are my best friend. I love our friendship but it's hurt so much to keep it all by myself. I've spending all day thinking how should I tell you that I like you. I am trying not to tell you but I want to. Scared of what you will say in response. So, I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I am so tired of holding this inside my head. I have been waiting all my life and now I have found you. As I'm standing here and you hold my hand, pull me towards you and we start to dance. All around us, I see nobody, it's just you and me. I hope you feel the same. If falling for you is a crime I rather stay in your prison of your love.

xoxo, E.